We Need to Change the Way We Talk About Food

Understanding+how+language+is+used+in+eating+disorder+treatment+is+a+good+jumping+off+point+for+changing+the+way+we+talk+about+food+and+eating+in+the+general+public.+In+these+centers+it+is+not+considered+acceptable+to+discuss+numbers+of+any+kind%2C+or+assign+values+to+food.+Using+rules+of+treatment+in+normal+life+can+make+it+easier+to+transition+your+own+communication.%0ACredit%3A+Penn+Medicine+Princeton+Health+Treatment+Center

Understanding how language is used in eating disorder treatment is a good jumping off point for changing the way we talk about food and eating in the general public. In these centers it is not considered acceptable to discuss numbers of any kind, or assign values to food. Using rules of treatment in normal life can make it easier to transition your own communication. Credit: Penn Medicine Princeton Health Treatment Center

April McBride

You can’t ignore the buzzing sounds of your sick world and the sick people who live in it. You by proxy must listen in and though you will try at all times to cover your ears and take the appropriate measures it is not sustainable. The sounds of the sickness are too loud and one day you will open a door to see yourself paralyzed on the bathroom tiles, just another sick person screaming. Five years ago I sat at my aunt’s table and stared at her paper towel meal, half an apple and piece of dark chocolate bark. Across from her was my cousin, who despite working as a nanny her entire life got lipo once a year. They liked to sit me down and tell me how pretty I was, and how I was pretty young, wishing they had a seventh grader’s thighs. Throughout my life words like those were thrown at my brain- words about “health”, about the perfect dinners of nothing, tricks for wasting away. These words told me how to eat, how to look at myself in the mirror. They told me when to chug water and when to eat the whole box. We can create a less sick world, but it’s all in how we use our words. 

 Eating disorders are the most lethal mental illness; one in five individuals with Anorexia nervosa will die from the sickness, and the majority of them will be between 12 and 22 years old. Factors such as socioeconomic status, genetic and epigenetic predisposition, and mental health problems are accelerated by living within an eating disorder culture. Understood by clinical child psychologist Stacey Rosenfeld in her 2014 article ‘The Cultural Influences of Eating Disorder” she writes “more accurate than labeling the individual is labeling the culture as disordered. It is nearly impossible to go a day with exposure”.

The issue is not that all people struggle with a severe disorder. It is that within the collective smaller forms of disordered eating are rewarded. A society that above all else values a young, skinny, and usually white body. We use coded language to assign value to our food, count calories loudly, and tiptoe around fat. To us – the inhabitants of this culture – we are the normal ones, the ones without the need for baby talk or therapy centers. While we are completely consumed by the disorder of the collective, what we fail to see is that even if we do not need a meal buddy or have a diagnosis we most likely have some form of disordered eating.

The process of changing our language around food starts with how we treat others and ends with our relationship to ourselves. Most people know to never comment about the weight of a stepsister or the size of a good friend’s meal but don’t see the harm in talking about their extremely restrictive diet for all to hear. Most might not notice the crudeness of exclaiming “Ugh I’m so fat!” in the presence of someone who is maybe much bigger than them. You also could have not noticed yourself calling carbs “no no food” in front of your 11 year old brother. These behaviors have an acute social impact and should be just as unacceptable. Professor of pediatrics at Penn State Martha Levine writes in her guide “Communication Challenges Within Eating Disorders”: “It is important that we practice media literacy as well as treating ourselves and others with compassion. […] Weight and diet related comments will escalate the risk of disordered eating”. All of these statements are not only hurtful but also indicative of your own disordered thoughts. Making comments like this only shows that you need healing, you need to protect yourself from the collective sickness. 

You cannot start to assign value A to a double chocolate donut and value B to avocado toast. All food is value neutral. These values are usually coded as “healthy” and “unhealthy”, or even the “recovery food” “non recovery food”. There is no moral inferiority in eating an entire pizza if you are hungry for it, and no superiority in eating salad a few times a week. Food is a part of life that we can not afford to miss out on and restricting it, even under the guise of recovery is pointless and cruel. Try to never create those rules for other people around you, bragging out how little bad food you eat, complaining about a bad night out to the Wendy’s drive-thru.

The challenge of changing a fundamental way you have been conditioned to speak and think is very difficult and can be a life-long commitment. Though it should be considered our responsibility to future generations to change our culture. These changes are worth it for both those generations and individuals struggling now. You will still hear the sounds of a sickly world everyday. My aunt still eats lunch out of a paper towel and some of my friends refuse to eat anything with oil. You do not have to be consumed by it and you can change. I have made up my mind that I will not use stupid coded language or talk in circles about muscle placement. I will not deflect diet talk to my friends, I won’t exclaim my hatred for anything about me. You do not have to do these things. If for no one else, just yourself, you can and should attempt to tune them out.